Tag Archive | Inspiration

But You Don’t Look Sick!


The beautiful woman in the picture above is my big sister.

If you met my sister you probably would never know she was sick with a terrible disease like, advance cirrhosis of the liver.

Here’s a question my sister faces pretty often in her daily life. But you don’t look sick!

See one day she was going along with her life as she always had. Going to work, caring for her family and grand children, then she became so very ill and ended up in the hospital. While she was in the hospital and having many test done, this is when she found out she had cirrhosis of the liver. She had no idea she was that sick. She hadn’t felt herself for about a year. She was battling excruciating back pain, and side pain. She has never been the type of person to complain or whine if she isn’t feeling good. So no one had a clue how much she was suffering in silence. That’s why when she ended up in the hospital so sick, people were in shock. Because she didn’t LOOK sick. When she was released from the hospital, family, friends and co-workers started coming to visit her. The first thing out of their mouth was, “You don’t look sick.” my sister shook her head, then said, “how do they expect me to look?” I could tell this was becoming frustrating for her. Because only a small few knew what it took for her to look the way she does each morning. I am one of the those few.

It’s amazing what eye concealer, foundation, eye make-up, a bot load of medication and a great attitude can do. It’s not until my sister gets home from work, do you see the tiredness in her eyes, her walk is slower and the pain has set in with a vengeance. And only then is when you know how sick she really is. Some mornings I find her sprawled out on her bed unable to get up, because she has just thrown up for the umpth time. I suggest to my sister, ” why don’t you call in today? Even God took a day off.” but no, that is not my sister’s style. She’s to busy worrying about Christmas coming. Always trying to help the other person, never thinking of her self first. I know people mean well. They don’t make that comment to upset or hurt her. Maybe they feel if they say it enough, it might, will the disease away. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” The longer she lives with this disease, the more I realize how true that statement is.

Esther

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“Remembering and Honoring My Mother”


gods_hand_cloud

October eleventh of each year I usually become very sad, because that is the day I lost my mother. In all honesty it doesn’t get any easier on this date, because I can remember the events just like they were yesterday. But the last two years have become easier. Why? Because two year ago today my grand baby Brielle was born. So instead of looking at this day with sadness. I have something to rejoice!

Ever since I was a young girl, all I ever wanted was to meet my mother. I often wondered if I looked anything like her, if we liked the same music, the same foods. I longed to know what it felt like to feel her arms wrapped around me, making me feel safe and loved.  When I was forty one years old,  my hopes and dreams came true.  With each visit I learned more and more about my mother. She was quite a dancer, had a great sense of humor, excellent cook, and that chinese food was her favorite.

Sadly we found out she was battling lung, liver and kidney cancer. Her doctor told me, ” I’m sorry there is nothing more we can do for her. Let her have what ever she wants within reason. She only has about six to mine more months.”   I wondered why God, would  take her from me again? I just found her and you need her now? But like anything else in my life, I accepted the cards that were dealt to me. I’m not saying I liked it. I just know there’s nothing I can do to change it.

Let me share a little bit more about my mom. Even though my mom barely had a high school diploma, and only stood at 4 ft 11″, she was smart about life and knew what it took to be successful and she wanted that for me. She would tell me “Remember to always be able to take care of yourself.” But she also knew that you had to know how to take care of your man. She would always say, “Take care of your man and he will take care of you ten-fold.” I took all that advice to heart. And to this day, I take those words very seriously. What an incredibly strong, amazing woman she was.

Do I have any regrets? Just one. I never got to find out what it felt like to feel her arms wrapped around me. On a good note. We now celebrate a new life!

Mom, we miss you so very much
On this date every year;
And not just then, but every minute,
Since you went away.

 

 

You became the center of our lives
Before your soul passed on;
It’s just so hard for us to believe
That you are really gone.

 

 

But we celebrate the life you lived
And all the things you gave us;
Our wonderful memories, Mom, of you
Are the things that will comfort and save us.

 

 

Please think of us, as we think of you
With hearts so full of love;
We’re looking up at you, my Mom,
As you look at us from above. 

I Love & Miss You!

Mom

 

I Saw Life Through Different Eyes Today


My sister Olga is fighting the battle of her life, she has cirrhosis of the liver, advance stage. You would think this would change her in some way, but no,  she still wakes up with a smile on her face. I saw life through different eyes today after said to me, “Sister, if I was told I had only six more months to live, I wouldn’t just lay in my bed and feel sorry for myself and give up. I would get up and live my life to the fullest.”  What an incredible lady she is. I’ve always been proud of my sister, but today I am in awe. My Sister 09