October eleventh of each year I usually become very sad, because that is the day I lost my mother. In all honesty it doesn’t get any easier on this date, because I can remember the events just like they were yesterday. But the last two years have become easier. Why? Because two year ago today my grand baby Brielle was born. So instead of looking at this day with sadness. I have something to rejoice!
Ever since I was a young girl, all I ever wanted was to meet my mother. I often wondered if I looked anything like her, if we liked the same music, the same foods. I longed to know what it felt like to feel her arms wrapped around me, making me feel safe and loved. When I was forty one years old, my hopes and dreams came true. With each visit I learned more and more about my mother. She was quite a dancer, had a great sense of humor, excellent cook, and that chinese food was her favorite.
Sadly we found out she was battling lung, liver and kidney cancer. Her doctor told me, ” I’m sorry there is nothing more we can do for her. Let her have what ever she wants within reason. She only has about six to mine more months.” I wondered why God, would take her from me again? I just found her and you need her now? But like anything else in my life, I accepted the cards that were dealt to me. I’m not saying I liked it. I just know there’s nothing I can do to change it.
Let me share a little bit more about my mom. Even though my mom barely had a high school diploma, and only stood at 4 ft 11″, she was smart about life and knew what it took to be successful and she wanted that for me. She would tell me “Remember to always be able to take care of yourself.” But she also knew that you had to know how to take care of your man. She would always say, “Take care of your man and he will take care of you ten-fold.” I took all that advice to heart. And to this day, I take those words very seriously. What an incredibly strong, amazing woman she was.
Do I have any regrets? Just one. I never got to find out what it felt like to feel her arms wrapped around me. On a good note. We now celebrate a new life!
Mom, we miss you so very much
On this date every year;
And not just then, but every minute,
Since you went away.
You became the center of our lives
Before your soul passed on;
It’s just so hard for us to believe
That you are really gone.
But we celebrate the life you lived
And all the things you gave us;
Our wonderful memories, Mom, of you
Are the things that will comfort and save us.
Please think of us, as we think of you
With hearts so full of love;
We’re looking up at you, my Mom,
As you look at us from above.
I Love & Miss You!